Book: Redemption - Part XXXVI - Chapter 34...SECTION FIVE...

SECTION FIVE

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Acquiescence

January to February 2002

My first Spirit-commissioned painting was done in watercolour pencil on a page torn from a block of quality A4 watercolour paper, trimmed slightly to fit the 10” x 12” frame I had bought for it. On recovering her senses, Shelley had this to say: “Thank you so much! Thank you, Spirit! This is amazing! I’m a Libra, so that’s the scales. You didn’t know that, did you? As for the road, I wasn’t sure if I was on the right path, but Spirit is clearly telling me I am, as long as I make the right decisions. I’m not big on decisions, you know. But that’s a Libra trait. I love Uluru….Is that Uluru or is that the sun? I think it must be both because Spirit knows I love both. I love Uluru. I love sunsets. I love sunrises. I love the colours of the outback. I love looking at the stars. I love rainbows. I love it all! As for the faces, maybe they’re representative of me, or aspects of me. You know, it’s funny, but that day I saw a hand, too. I thought I was being silly, what with that hand on your bookcase and all. Isn’t that amazing?” As I walked back to my car, I felt warmth, gratitude, peace, and love. If this is what spiritual art was about, then I was all for it.

Shelley's painting. I called it Rite of Passage

On Wednesday January 2^nd, a staggeringly hot, humid day, Steve and I arrived at Chermside shopping centre to find hundreds more had the same idea. Minutes later, we surrendered our prized parking space because Steve was clutching his chest in agony. It wasn’t his heart, he insisted, although he didn’t object to my demands that we leave immediately. Being the Christmas-New Year period, no doctors were on duty at Geebung Medical Centre so the receptionist urged us to go straight to the Prince Charles Hospital. The only thing the tests he was given proved was that he had not had a heart attack – the same conclusion our doctor reached when Steve first presented with chest pain. It was all my fault, he joked for months afterwards, whenever telling anyone about the incident, because I wanted to be in air-conditioned comfort. I was glad he saw the humour in it because he wasn’t laughing at the time.

In the morning of January 3^rd, a beautifully-bound book of Liz’s poetry arrived in the mail. Our ideas on poetry were very different. Hers was like her paintings: dark and mysterious. In the afternoon, I presented myself to the Wesley Breast Clinic for my mammogram. Three hours later, I was being told I needed a core biopsy.  Unlike my first biopsy, this was to be done at the clinic the following Monday. I should have known it would not be routine. All the signs were there. When I conceded to my mother’s insistence I see my doctor and get the referral for my mammogram I got straight in. He said he would fax it through. As far as I was concerned, that was to be the end of the matter until I got my appointment. A week later, I distinctly heard my deceased classmate, Ann, telling me: He never sent it. Get on the phone. I was gobsmacked. Ann was right. The Wesley had no record of my referral. A call to my doctor sorted the matter out very quickly.

On Friday, I woke with Liz uppermost on my mind. It was winter in America, a dangerous time to be driving anywhere, let alone across the country. Her plan was to pack everything she could squeeze into her old kombi van and hit the road. There are leaps of faith, and there are leaps of stupidity. Hers fell into the latter category, but no matter what I said I could not convince her to change her mind, or at least delay her departure until the spring. She always was impulsive, and reckless, and foolhardy, and every other word one can use to describe rash behaviour. While most of Australia sweltered through extreme summer temperatures, the American winter was abysmally cold. They were having blizzards over there, and unbelievably deep snow drifts. John’s Christmas card told the story of what was happening in Maryland. New Jersey was not that far from Maryland. I couldn’t bear to think about it.

On Monday, while waiting at the breast clinic after my biopsy, I heard Annette’s name called. I looked up to see her following the caller. She hadn’t seen me. It was mid-morning by then. Two hours earlier I had the biopsy in which a gun-type instrument was used to fire a barb that grabbed a tiny piece of tissue. I didn’t know how much longer I would have to wait so I thought I may as well keep an eye out for her when she returned. When she did I called her over to my table. She seemed genuinely happy to see me, and over a cup of coffee, we talked about her family and mine, but every time the door opened she looked up. I didn’t take that as her not wanting to talk to me. I was all too familiar with the apprehension that went hand-in-hand with that look. When I left, with specific instructions not to get the bandage wet for two days, a physical impossibility in a heat wave, she was still waiting. I gave her a hug and wished her well. At 4pm, I got the all-clear. It was only calcification. With that worry gone, I rang Petula to say I was able to go to the courthouse with her in the morning.

Neville failed to show, and as case after case was dealt with by a judge who clearly didn’t suffer fools gladly, she became more and more apprehensive. There was no need for he proved to be a fair and considerate man who even gave her suggestions on how to proceed. He apologised for wasting her time and rescheduled the case for February 13^th. He also apologised for the court’s failure to follow up on an anomaly. Neville, he said, was sent a similar letter to hers, notifying him of the court date, but it was returned unopened and marked: Not at this address. Petula told the judge he would still have been at the address on the envelope, at the time the letter would have been received, because the house, although sold, had not then settled. The judge then read through some notes before saying: “Ah! This is Mr Porsche!” The notes obviously contained details of the failed mediation session last October. “Now, why does Mr (surname withheld) think he’s too good to attend my courtroom?”

On Thursday January 10^th, I had coffee with Heather and two of her friends from the Tarot night with Tamara. The first person Tamara had read for was a very negative woman who believed things positively-minded people would scoff at. Some “psychic” had told her not to leave the house on a certain date for if she did she would die. I told her that was absolute rot. Where do some people get off saying things like that to someone like her? Didn’t they realise it can become a self-fulfilling prophesy? After giving them my thoughts on that, we parted company. In the evening, when I was talking to Kristen, she said she was concerned about Aunty Kathleen. She had rung to thank her for her birthday gift but said she sounded strangely disoriented. When saying this, she said someone touched her hair and said Tianni pointed to Mum’s photo. I rang Kathleen the next morning. She was fine. Perhaps, I decided, Mum just wanted to be part of the conversation.

The following Sunday, I got a surprise visit from Peter. He’d flown down a few days earlier but hadn’t had time to see me beforehand. He stopped in on his way to the airport to collect Kay and her son. They were going to look for a flat for the lad while he’s at uni. I feared Peter had lost touch with the real world being up north. To his way of thinking, they’d find the flat, the kid would move in, and they could be on their way home tomorrow.

Six days later, Steve received news that his father’s estate had been settled. He and his siblings each inherited the sum of $2,220.75. It may not seem much, but for Steve, it meant car registration and insurance could be paid, something that just one day earlier had been impossible. The next day, I woke thinking I had to get an old photo of Steve and I enlarged. When fully awake, I realised it was January 17^th, our 32^nd wedding anniversary. Before doing so I met Peter and Kay at Chermside for coffee. They had still not found a place for Greg. During conversation, I mentioned the weird incident of the photo and Kay said she would love a copy of it. “I always loved that picture,” she said. “You were both so gorgeous and you looked so ‘60s!” I had to laugh. “Kay, it was the ‘60s.” I was glad I hadn’t had a chance to get it enlarged because Kay told me photocopying would be cheaper, and on quality paper, just as good. She was right. Whilst waiting, I was amazed to hear her tell me she had been trying to figure out how to ask me for a copy without seeming silly. So that’s what it was. Telepathy! On leaving the copy shop we went to Zen Gallery where we spent an hour. From there she went to Godfrey’s because she had a feeling she should look for a vacuum cleaner. Who should she find there, looking for a vacuum cleaner? Peter. I was in awe at picking up on Kay’s thoughts, but for Kay and Peter, it was a way of life. When he left us he had gone to look at cars and was supposed to meet Kay in a couple of hours where we had coffee.

Photo of Steve and me taken in 1969

On Friday, Che helped Steve with our faulty power steering as he was a natural with cars. On Saturday, Leigh rang to book me for more readings in February. On Sunday, I unsuccessfully scoured flea markets looking for a frame for a painting I did in the early ‘80s. It was of the hay barn at the farm. I never understood why I painted it, although in years to come I would. I had used a canvas board so without a frame to keep it flat, it had become concave. If I wanted to preserve it I knew I would need to do something sooner rather than later.

Hay Barn c. early 1980s

On Monday January 21^st, I met Roberta at Chermside for coffee. She was excited about her upcoming appointment with Jason McDonald. She only had four weeks left to wait. It seemed a lifetime ago that she made the appointment. A friend of hers was told the waiting period had blown out to six months when she rang! As we talked, Roberta felt I should study counselling and utilise my Tarot skills. It wasn’t the first time the suggestion had been made. The next day, Petula rang to tell me I may have a reading with her friend, Lenny. When Sarina told me about someone named Lenny who would assist my spiritual progress I was not prepared for how. Sarina had proven to be so accurate, I couldn’t understand why Roberta was determined to wait for Jason. But then, I was the same in my early days.

On Thursday, I got an email from Liz to say she had arrived safely in New Jersey, only a day later than planned. She said her departure was extremely painful and she was glad to be leaving her “ungrateful children”. For years she had done the Tough Love thing with Danuta, with some success, but the girl was too “self-centred and immature” to see that, she said. There was one light-hearted moment, however. She finally understood what I had to deal with when using library computers.

Friday wasn’t Steve’s best day. After returning to Prince Charles Hospital for a thallium test, he had to deal with bureaucracy gone mad at Centrelink. According to their letter, they wanted to know how we spent his inheritance. Although annoyed with that, he later yelled at me for itemizing everything I could find a receipt for. He said I was being childish and petty, and that they would only require an estimate. On Monday, when I was proven right, he threatened to take the matter up with his local Member of Parliament. The woman didn’t bat an eyelid. She simply parroted the company line. I had had enough and accused her of “Gestapo tactics”. That clearly struck a nerve for not only did she back off, she apologised before accepting the evidence tendered. I thought it more than a little interesting that he never thought twice before lashing out at me, yet he allowed others to walk all over him. My days of being bullied were long gone.

Before going to work on January 30^th, Steve did a reading about his current job as he felt something was up. He got a Karmic Crossroads which told him changes were not just in the wind, they were on top of him. Tamara rang through the day to say a man in her section wondered if Steve would be able to compile a list of shoddy or difficult companies he knew about. It was an unusual request, but I told her I would pass the message on. It would give him something else to think about. When he came home, with his toolbox, I knew what the Crossroads was all about. On the following Monday, he returned to Prince Charles Hospital for the results of his thallium test. After being given another ECG he was told all was fine. The doctor said he couldn’t explain the type of pain Steve had, but he had to concur with our family doctor. Steve definitely did not have a heart problem. The next day, I woke from a strange dream about him always being there for me, no matter what.

On Wednesday, I went to the Brisbane Spiritualist Church for the development circle. During the meditation, I saw the same hand I saw on my first day at the Self-Realization Fellowship. This time, I saw it as an extended hand reaching out to assist my spiritual development. I had to climb hills, mountains and stairs, take the hand, and move to the next stage. Eventually, I stood facing my guide. As he reached out to take my hand the earth opened up. I teetered on my side of the crevasse. Do I give way to fear and stay on my side, or do I accept the stretching hand and take a leap of faith? I heard the words “Accept” and “Surrender”. In the discussion that followed the minister said an extended hand means the hand of Spirit showing me things never seen before. She then said I must never surrender my will to anyone in the physical or spiritual realms. However, she added, a leap of faith is different. In the psychometry session, a man who selected my wedding ring from the tray said I should read a book called The Bridge Across Forever. He said he did not know if there was such a book in reality, only that he had ‘seen’ a book cover in his mind’s eye with those words and a wedding ring on it. When I got home there was a message from Lenore, known to Petula as Lenny. It made sense coming on a day of seeing my spiritual evolution in meditation. She said she wanted a reading, but the last two digits of her number had been cut off so I rang Petula.

At the library on Thursday, I realised there really was a book called The Bridge Across Forever. It was written by Richard Bach. The library didn’t have a copy on the shelves so I put in a request for it. They did, however, have another book by the same author, Jonathon Livingstone Seagull. I had previously only associated that title with American singer-songwriter, Neil Diamond. I had not seen the film. I only knew Neil Diamond did the sound track for it. I was glad I took the book home for it resonated with my meditation experience. Jonathon Livingstone Seagull is a remarkable story about rising above the ordinary and awakening to the potential of the spirit. I was so taken with it I went on to read more of his books, among them another favourite, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. When I finally got a copy of The Bridge Across Forever I could only stare at the cover. Under the title was a wedding ring! It was a remarkable story about love and how it can survive anything.

On Friday, I left a message for Lenore. On Saturday, I woke from a strange dream about Aunty Kathleen. Women were all around her; daughters, granddaughters, and great granddaughters. I was there, too. There was some sort of telephone conference in which people held an electronic device that showed pictures. In the dream I told her of a dream I had when I saw her as a very pretty child of fourteen. Her nose was sprinkled with freckles and her dark long hair was braided. On waking, I wondered if she was reviewing her life. A week earlier, Kristen told me she had another visit from my mother telling her that Kathleen would be joining her soon. Kristen called Mum a “Gatherer”. When I asked her why, she said she didn’t know.

On Sunday morning, Che called in to say he’d been having more trouble with his car. He was finally willing to accept he had bought a lemon because it looked good. He was lucky Gregg worked in a car parts store. When he left, I rang Tamara to tell her I was going in to the Spiritual Church if she wanted to come with me. She did and was glad. Beatrice, the guest medium, had very good advice for me from Mum. I was told off for being too serious. I should learn to relax more and have fun. When people come to me for readings I should deliver the message and let that be the end of the matter. I was guilty on all counts. She went on to say things will get better and I will wonder why I was so serious. I was a serious child. She had hoped I would grow out if it, but I didn’t. She felt like shaking me at times. Did I not know she was around me? Did I not know it was she who put ideas and things into my mind? When I said I did, my mother, through Beatrice said: “Why do you need to see me then?”  It was a valid point. Tamara was very impressed with Beatrice and said she had been trying to tell me the same thing for years. My mother and my second child were so very much alike it was scary.

On Wednesday February 13^th, Steve returned to his on-again, off-again job. It was getting tiresome. I wished they could get a decent contract so they could give him sustainable work. They were lucky that every time they called he was available. At court the same day, Neville was seen for what he was. The judge even had the court stenographer laughing when he told him in no uncertain terms to have certain matters in order for March 7^th or he would find himself in the witness stand where he would “get it out of him.” The law designed to give a spouse an equal share in their partner’s superannuation was yet to be passed. In their previous battles, Neville told Petula she would be a very old woman before she got one cent of “his money” because he was going to sit on it by retiring as late as possible. However, a split of Neville’s superannuation was the best the judge felt he could do for her under the circumstances. It was either that or his Coles-Myer shares, given to him as part of a salary package. The man was up to his neck in debt and had no real assets. In his determination to ensure she got nothing, he even sold the house for little more than the mortgage. The judge had had enough and told him if he failed to produce the requested documents on March 7^th he would adjourn the case until after the legislation takes effect. Neville was not a happy man when he left. But then, neither was Petula. She had her heart set on a settlement of $20,000. I told her the judge was doing the best he could with what he had to work with.

The next day, I bought a white ceramic seagull I found in a second hand shop that looked identical to the image on the cover of Jonathon Livingstone Seagull. I knew what the message was, so I promised Mum I would soar beyond my limitations. The same day, I lost my front door key. I got another cut from the spare, but it bothered me that a key was lying around somewhere. At the Brisbane Spiritualist Church the following Sunday, I saw two ladies I was told work together. Gloria gave the address and Irene gave the clairvoyant demonstration. She was so good I decided I must be there the next time she was on platform. During a conversation I had with a lady earlier in the tea room, certain things were said in relation to her deceased husband. To hear Irene give the woman a message from her husband using words that proved he was with her at the time we were talking, amazed me, but not her. I couldn’t believe it. The very same words she used when answering something I said were given back to her via Irene, but she couldn’t, or wouldn’t believe. What was she doing there? What was the point? I came to understand this was an on-going problem with her.

On Monday, I got a call from a woman named Jenny who said I was recommended to her. She booked in for the following Sunday morning. It was a while since I had had so many readings in one week. I had Lenore coming on Tuesday and Leigh’s group to read for on Friday. I was looking forward to reading for Lenore, if she was the Lenny Sarina spoke of, because I wondered how she would assist with my spiritual development. While waiting for her, I got a clear message to use the Eye of Horus stones. I had never used them with anyone before. But because of the message, I thought of Mum, and asked her to help me find my key. I went into Che’s old room, as I had done several times that day, and there was my key, sitting in clear view. I was so happy to have it back I didn’t go into the wherefores then. I did later, after Lenny left.

Lenny’s reading proved to be the first life-path reading I did. The same message was delivered with every spread, but she couldn’t see that because it didn’t relate to her current situation. It was not until I gave her the stones that she thought she might be able to make some sense from it all. I was glad I had taped the reading because I knew much will be made known to her as time unfolds. When she left, I thanked Mum, not only for the key, for I knew that was part of the overall message, but for helping me with my spiritual development.

During meditation the following week at the church, we were led by a lady’s clear voice to a path and over a bridge to a bench where someone from spirit would sit beside us. Mum sat beside me. In her hand was a pink and grey plastic box, the very same box she used to hide her money in and keep on top of her wardrobe. I told Mum I was so sorry for stealing the money and she said it was time to let it go. I then saw lots of pink light envelope me and I felt the most wondrous sense of peace, love and forgiveness. In the next instant, I saw myself at around age twelve, in my confirmation dress. With me were my former classmates, Elizabeth and Ann. I knew that was important, but I didn’t know why. Ann was gone by then, and I had no idea where Elizabeth was, or even if she was still alive. It was Ann who told me about Elizabeth having a baby at the same time she had hers, which wasn’t long before I had Kristen. Where was this leading? During the discussion afterwards, a man told me a lady surrounded me with the most beautiful flowers. I asked him if he could describe her. He could. Mum was with me! For the first time in a long time I was able to let go of the guilt and shame I had been carrying like a yoke around my neck. When I got home Petula called to tell me Lenny wasn’t sure about her reading. She said I came across as feeling “not good enough”, and “I wasn’t listening to her”. What lesson did I learn from the experience? Just what Mum told me through Beatrice: Deliver the message and let it go. Sarina was right, yet again. If Lenny wanted to see someone else, she had every right to do so. If she chose not to accept the message, she had every right to do that, too.

On Friday, my confidence was restored by Andrea, Glenys and Mona who all said their previous readings, which they didn’t think could come to pass, had, and in the way I said. Andrea was especially grateful for the warning about her husband’s job, but she had some good news. His job was safe after all. She told me that some Ansett jobs, not all by any stretch of the imagination, were to be salvaged by an eleventh hour deal with some of Australia’s most powerful businessmen. Not so, according to the cards. She couldn’t understand it. She said they were given uniforms and even their work rosters. The Seven of Swords crossing The Moon told me there was deception and trickery at work. I advised her to warn her husband and to tell him to warn the others. The so-called rescue of Ansett was not going to happen. I felt terrible saying that, but I had to. It was all there in the cards.

On Sunday, I read for Jenny who said she was referred by Andrea more than a year earlier. She kept putting it off, fearing what would be said. It turned out that that was the right time for her to have her reading. She left feeling very happy and positive about her future. In the afternoon, I went to the church to find yet another great medium on platform. She was an English woman named Elizabeth. Not only was she very accurate, she was a bit of a comedienne. At one point she said to the congregation: “Okay. Who’s saying ‘Pick me! Pick me!’ because as long as I hear that I can’t hear anything else.” No one moved. She tried to continue but paused again to say: “Now this is getting a bit much! If the person saying that doesn’t put their hand up so I can get on with this, we are going to be here for a long time.” No one put up their hand. Elizabeth tried again, and again she stopped because of that insistent plea. There was a roar of laughter from the congregation but Jeanne, the minister, was not impressed for there was a time limit on the demonstration. Elizabeth tried again to get a message for someone when she stopped, but this time, from near the back, a timid young girl put her hand up. “Forget him!” Elizabeth said “He’s not worth it! Okay. Do you understand?” The deeply embarrassed young woman nodded her understanding before sitting down, no doubt wishing the floor would open up and swallow her whole.

During the meditation at the circle on the following Wednesday I saw my “monk” guide. He showed me lots of children and asked me to follow them into a cave. Inside was a large crystal ball, on which was a door that opened to expose a whole city inside. It was magical. I then heard the woman leading the meditation ask if we had a message for someone in the circle. With that, I saw my “monk” walk over to touch the head of a lady to my right. I asked what the message was and was told to pay attention. He touched her head again and her short dark hair suddenly became long and blonde. He then placed a crown on her head. Clearly, I was being shown one of her past lives. Was that why I had to pay attention? Would I be able to see people’s past lives?

Seven hours later, while watching the news, I heard the Ansett deal had fallen through. I instantly thought of Andrea and her husband. I knew she trusted me enough by then to have taken the message to him, and he hopefully, trusted me enough by then to take it to the other poor souls led on a merry quest to nowhere.