Book: Redemption - Part XXVII - Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Awakening

July to August 2000

On the first day of July, the Goods and Services Tax took effect. I didn’t like it, but I accepted it. This was a major development considering how John Howard’s predecessor’s version of the GST affected me. The people fought back then and returned Paul Keating’s government, but the people had become weary and apathetic. My journey towards a deeper understanding of who I was and where I was going had made me a calmer, more philosophical person. The likes of John Howard would not bring me down.

Since his time as Treasurer in Malcolm Fraser’s government it seemed to me that this man was determined to leave his mark in history. I knew it wasn’t very spiritual of me but like bad karma, I hoped it came back to bite him. Aided and abetted by the treacherous Meg Lees, the world was his oyster and he was revelling in it. As for the Democrats, their fate was sealed. No one likes a traitor. The Democrats rose from the ashes of a lack of trust in 1977 to become a major force in the Senate. Their founder, idealistic former Liberal, Don Chipp, was a good man who only wanted to “keep the bastards honest”. With the stroke of her pen, Meg Lees undid all his good work. The Labor opposition, under Kim Beasley, seemed a spent force. A new age had dawned and it didn’t auger well for the future.

Politics aside, I was surprised to see Anne when I arrived for my shift on Tuesday. She mumbled something about Lifeline doing their usual best to mess things up, but all in all, it was a good day. Gladys went about her business as she did every Tuesday except when I got out my cards to give Anne a reading. She didn’t want to know anything about that the first time. This time she couldn’t conceal her interest in what was happening in the back room.  Before the day ended, she too, in spite of herself, sat down for a reading. She knew I knew nothing of her private life which, being a Scorpio, was sacrosanct. It seemed to bother her that pieces of cardboard could be so representative of her life and her family.

The next day, I met Kristen at Chermside for coffee and she shouted me a reading with another of Zen Galley’s readers. It was timely indeed for Jan told me I was ready to step out of my comfort zone, and that July will be a great month for me in that respect. She taught me how to protect myself and advised me to start charging a fee, even if it’s only $10. She said I have to start putting a value on myself and what I do. When I said I didn’t have anywhere to read at she said “Spirit will provide”. The next day, Kristen rang to tell me she saw a “For Sale” sign on Annette’s door when she was going past on the bus. I felt like crying.

On the second Tuesday in July, I drew a card to see what the day had in store for me. It was the Queen of Wands. Two fire queens had been occupying my thoughts over the previous few days: Annette and Tamara. Annette’s worries were major compared to Tamara’s. She had been offered a twelve-month extension of her current contract, but as an AO2 when she was doing AO3 work. On my walk to the shop I thought about my two queens and wondered what awaited them, each connected to the other by the wondrous web of life. Then I stopped in my tracks. The new manageress, who was talking to Gladys, was a dead ringer for Annette, albeit a few years younger and with longer hair. In that moment, I decided the Queen of Wands wasn’t Annette or Tamara. It was this woman, an attractive lady in her late thirties. Despite her Gaelic brogue, even her voice reminded me of Annette. It was so uncanny I overlooked a greater message because by July I had forgotten what Coral told me in January.

Her name was Petula. Around her neck she wore an unusual pendant, three amethyst points facing each other within a circle of silver. In time, I came to think of those points as representing three people Spirit brought together in a Lifeline shop. Water signs all; we formed a unique bond that transcended our days in the shop. I didn’t know much about astrology then, although it didn’t take long for me to appreciate the difference. I, the Pisces, could be likened to the constant ebb and flow of the ocean tides, sometimes comforting, sometimes destructive. Petula, the Cancer, could be compared to a babbling brook that cascaded through the forest where faeries and other nature spirits dwelled. Gladys, the Scorpio, could be likened to the cool mountain lake: still, dark, and immeasurably deep.



A sketch of the pendant

The following Monday, I received a beautiful card from Roberta containing a cheque for twelve dollars. She wanted to be my first paying client. I was stoked! It was payment for a reading I did for her two days earlier on what to expect on her Canadian trip. The next day I was surprised to see no bags waiting outside the shop when I arrived. An hour later, Petula asked if we would be willing to work the following day because the load day had been changed to Wednesdays. We worked so well together she felt the three of us should be there for it.  I knew Leigh would be pleased about that. A lady she knew wanted a reading but Tuesday was her only free day. Two hours into our first Wednesday, I discovered Petula could see auras. She looked up to say something to me when she saw a column of yellow-gold going up from the centre of my head and blue around my ears and throat. My Lifeline days would never be the same again.

Things were moving ahead in leaps and bounds for me but not for Steve. He was still struggling to find a job that lasted more than a few days or weeks with the result we were forced to borrow money from the kids. He kept putting off going to Centrelink because he believed the next big job was just around the corner. When he did go we learned I would need to get a Separation Certificate from Annette. She donned her happiest voice when I rang, but the call was painfully brief. I truly felt sorry for her but she should never have signed that three-year lease. On a happier note, I received an email from Liz telling me Don was making progress with his sister, who seems to have “put her neck in a noose and was tightening it with every spiteful remark” she made about his family.

On Tuesday July 25^th, Leigh rang to tell me the daughter of her friend, Sue, who I had read for a few weeks before is having a baby shower and would like me to read the cards for her guests! She asked me to work out how much I’ll change and for how long I’ll read. It was a moment of revelation. It was also a moment of absolute terror. There was only one thing for it, Leigh said. I needed more practice. She said she would ask Sue if she would mind coming over for a reading on Thursday. It was time to get this monkey off my back.

My next day at Lifeline was good, but intense. I met Petula’s partner, a tall, scary-looking biker named Dave. She had been telling me about her ‘interesting’ relationship, and that she wanted to end it but was terrified of how he would react. Petula was a paradox. On the one hand she was an exuberant woman who possessed the rare ability to inspire others to make positive changes in their lives, yet found it difficult to move away from the type of man she was attracted to. This led to an emotional roller coaster ride of epic proportions. She taught me a lot about understanding The Chariot, the card for Cancer. When talking to her about him I was reminded of Alia’s description of the card for me: the white Clydesdale and black Arabian pulling the chariot. To get them to work together Petula will need to use a disciplined mind to overcome her turbulent emotions.

On Thursday, I boarded a northbound train to Leigh’s place to read for Sue again. I liked Sue. She used to work at the Hypermarket with Leigh. Before I arrived she had called to say she couldn’t make it so Leigh called another former workmate who agreed to come in her stead. Leigh’s husband was his usual eager-beaver self and as their son’s then girlfriend was staying over, she had a reading, too, which gave me some lead-in practice. The cards told me their relationship was in its death throes, which was sad for her, but she handled it well. Deep down, she obviously knew. When the lady Leigh was expecting rang to say she, and her husband, would be delayed we had lunch and waited. Just after 1.30pm, they arrived and my ordeal began. Two hours later, it mercifully ended. How I came through it with my sanity intact is a mystery. Glenys and Darryl were actually very nice people except when it came to having a reading. Darryl didn’t believe in anything he couldn’t see, touch, taste, or intimidate. I was intimidated, but I tried not to show it, not even when all I got was: No, that can’t happen. That’s not possible. No, that’s not me. No, you’re wrong. You have no idea what you’re doing, do you? No, absolutely, definitely not! No, can’t be, not possible. No, not going to happen. When he had finished with me, he acted like we had just been chatting about the weather. He shook my hand and said with a smile: “Well, it was lovely to meet you, Mary.”

Leigh was dumbfounded. Then, on hearing Glenys come up behind her saying: “Oh good! It’s my turn”, she turned and smiled weakly. She had known Glenys for years. She only knew Darryl through Glenys. Glenys would be alright, she was sure of it.

I laid out the cards and went through them, one by one, as I had done with Darryl, but unlike Darryl, Glenys had nothing to say. The more I tried to engage her in conversation the more I felt I was walking a high wire without a safety net. As the reading progressed I felt like I was falling in slow motion. I could see and feel every millisecond of my descent into oblivion and there was nothing I could do to save myself. It didn’t help that out of the ten cards I had laid down eight were Major Arcana cards and one was Blank. Say something! Please! Say something! Anything!

When the reading was finished, I relaxed. I had hit the ground intact. No blood was spilled. No bones were broken. I had survived my baptism of fire. Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling Glenys had been sent to test me, and because of that I felt elated. I had passed the challenge. I was the apprentice no longer. I could leave the dark morass of fear behind and step into the light. I went to push back my chair and stand up but, with that deadpan look on her face, she gathered up the cards, put them on the bottom of the deck, and asked me to lay them out again. “What? Don’t you want to shuffle them?” She shook her head to indicate she didn’t. I slumped back down in the chair. That was repeated several times before she decided she had had enough and pushed her chair back.

Desperate for some sort of response, I asked her to rate me on a scale of one to ten, but she refused. She simply said: “No, Mary. I’m not going to do that.” Then she turned to go, dismissing me as if I was nothing more than a bug to be squashed under her feet. Leigh was horrified. She had never seen this side of her friend, and had no inkling she could be so disrespectful. She followed the couple to their car as I paced around her kitchen feeling sick. That’s it! I thought. The cards can go in the bin. I’m never, ever doing this again. I have had it. No more! Never! Never! Never!

When Leigh returned, shrieking with delight, I stood listening to her words, but not really believing them. “I don’t know why Glenys behaved like that. Maybe she doesn’t know either. I wouldn’t let her go until she told me what she thought. She said she has seen lots of clairvoyants, psychics and Tarot readers in her time, but she has never before had readings so accurate. Well done, Mary! Well done!”

It was a case of “Well done!” for Tamara, too. Her contract had been extended for three months instead of the twelve, but they offered to fund the necessary education for her to rise to the higher level. In the meantime, she was told she would be released from her contract if offered a better job. The next day brought good news for Che, too. An old school mate of his, who he had been trying to get into the Banyo workshop for two years, finally got the call.

On the following Tuesday, I woke from a most unsettling dream. I was to meet Liz at the Wilston house, but whilst waiting for her outside I was invited in by one of four girls renting it. On the walls were several examples of Native American art and artefacts such as dreamcatchers, smudging feathers and peace pipes. A Native American girl was standing at an easel painting and just as she turned to speak to me I realised Liz was outside waiting for me. As I was leaving to meet her the house morphed into the Nanango farmhouse. All the rooms were dark and empty so I walked towards a shed outside. As I neared it I sensed impending danger. A spirit was haunting it and because I didn’t have time to “protect myself”, the spirit invaded my body. I woke in a panic to find myself drenched in perspiration. I had had some terrible nightmares in my time but that was the worst by far. With the fullness of time I understood only too what it was telling me. A lovely email from Liz was waiting for me when I got to the library later that day. She was very proud of me and said agreeing to read at the party was a huge step in my evolution. It was, as it turned out.

On Friday, Steve and I made the final payment on the car with our tax refunds. It had been a long, hard struggle, one we nearly lost. Coral said we would own our car in August, but I didn’t think it possible at the time. When we got home I pulled out the folder I kept notes of the readings I’d had in. It was then I saw what she said about the Queen of Wands and remembered how I thought it might be Dana. As a water sign, Petula was technically a Queen of Cups, but she was a Queen of Wands at work: energetic, creative, exuberant, independent, exhilarating, enthusiastic, and entrepreneurial. Her colour sense and knack for display was second to none. Gone were the drab window displays Geebung residents were used to. Of the three second hand shops in close proximity at the time two didn’t stand a chance.

At the baby shower-reading day, on Sunday August 6^th, I read for fourteen people, one after the other. Some were apprehensive because they had never had a reading before, but all seemed happy. When we got back to Leigh’s place, I read her husband, Warren, and her sister, Gail. I had not seen Gail since the night she won the Schweppes Miss Personality quest in 1969. In middle age, she was still a stunning beauty. I knew the monkey wasn’t completely off my back, but thanks to Leigh I had overcome the worst of my fears. Charging for my services was something else again. When Leigh asked me to decide how much to change I couldn’t come up with a figure so I asked her to tell the girl I would accept a donation. At the end of the day, the lass gave me an envelope containing a lovely-worded card and a fifty dollar note. She didn’t know it, but in that card she also gave me the key to my shackles. During the following days Leigh passed on glowing reports given to her about my readings. I was such a hit her niece wanted me to read at her bridal shower in October. It was extraordinary.

At the shop on Wednesday, I did some readings for Petula concerning her future with work, money, and men. In the work spread, she was advised to follow her passion and live her dreams because, before the month was over, she would no longer be managing the store. It was a shock for all of us and it took some getting used to. Petula was the best thing to happen to that place, and unlike previous managers, she wasn’t short of volunteers. A clever home dressmaker, her dream was not too dissimilar to mine. Hers was to create a range of practical, but unique children’s clothing. And like me, she already had a label in mind: “Impact” with the “t” in the shape of a sword. Unfortunately, choosing the wrong man didn’t start with Dave. Of her four children, two were born with a hare lip and cleft palette, courtesy of their father’s gene pool. He was a selfish individual who believed she didn’t need any help and could run the household on a shoestring budget. That she was able to manage was testimony to her courage, tenacity and ingenuity. Although divorced for months when I met her she hadn’t sought a financial settlement because she was too afraid. The man certainly had her where he wanted her.

On the following Tuesday she rang with some startling news. The Geebung manageress most likely won’t be back and she was offered her job, a fully paid position. By Wednesday, her decision was all but final. When I asked if the reading tipped the scales she said it hadn’t. It was Bobbi, her boss. Before ending the conversation, Bobbi asked Petula to buy balloons, cake, sparklers, dips and crackers for a party to be held in the shop on Thursday in recognition of past and present staff and volunteers. The local newspaper would send a reporter and photographer. Surely, such a big deal could be held at the Lifeline office and not the shop. Did Bobbi have any idea what that would entail? Before hanging up, Petula asked Bobbi if eighty-three year old Ruth, a veteran of twenty-one years of selfless service, was to be given special mention. Bobbi assured her she would. After all, it was people like Ruth that made Lifeline such a successful enterprise.

If Petula hadn’t decided to reject the job on Wednesday, she most certainly would have after Thursday. Racks of clothing and other displays had to be moved to allow for fifteen guests, personnel, reporter, photographer, customers and curious onlookers. What was supposed to be a sincere “Thank you” to those who had given their all became nothing more than a gratuitous exercise in self-promotion. Ruth received no flowers, card or even a mention. But then neither did Judith, who was even older than Ruth. It was despicable, but I should have seen it coming.

After helping with the cleaning up I left, but before I did, Petula told me of a ‘message’ she got. I am to go to her place on Saturday because we had “work to do”. We settled for early afternoon and I went home, angry, bitter, and deeply saddened. After tennis on Friday, Petula called to ask a favour. Could I please go to the shop in the morning? It was Carmel’s first day as manager. She said she would stop in at lunchtime to help her tally the day’s takings. Carmel and Kendal were the two contenders for the job. I had worked with both and knew Petula’s assessment was correct. Carmel, although practical and dependable, lacked confidence while Kendall was the opposite. Petula thought Kendall too ‘flighty’ so she nominated Carmel and agreed to stay until the end of the year to help her out.

When I arrived I found the chap from the adjacent hardware store looking at a hole in the plate glass door. He said it looked like a bullet hole. Carmel hadn’t noticed it, nor had anyone else. What was supposed to be a quiet day turned into anything but. When Bobbi, the police, and the glazier were gone I did a reading for a lady named Faye who had worked on and off with Petula at the Chermside shop. As a favour to her, she had come to help Carmel. Faye was so happy with her reading I ended up with a potential booking for my first Tarot party. This time, there was no hesitation. Petula arrived at 1pm and from there we went to her place. I had Tianni with me but Petula’s daughter, Annie, kept her occupied.

The “work” entailed sitting on a sofa on one side of her living room while she sat in another, diagonally opposite me. As we talked she watched what was happening with my aura. Five or six ‘energies’ hovered around me, firstly as luminous yellow orbs. From them faces emerged, but she said they pulled back when first studied. However, a few grew more adventurous. One was wearing the headdress of an Egyptian pharaoh, while another wore that of a Hebrew who gave a name that sounded like Mokk-Rrrah. She said he had his hands around my head and said he would help open my crown chakra. He told Petula to tell me I had to work on unblocking my chakras, and that I have trouble with my base chakra. I was to meditate, trying to “breathe” in deeply with each chakra, working my way from base to crown. Petula said the next figure to show itself was dressed in the Elizabethan era with white ruffled collar.

She then accurately described my deceased cat, Shadow. She felt she was shown him to prove she was not imagining the rest. She had such a peaceful look on her face. We both felt completely safe. But then her whole demeanour changed. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “What do you see?” It took her some time to be able to tell me. My face had undergone several transformations with one face morphing into another until the final face, a “very beautiful Jesus-like face” hovered over mine for several seconds before my face re-emerged and all returned to normal. Normal? Would anything ever be normal again? I wondered.

On Sunday, I went back for more, this time I took Steve to meet Dave. Petula told me more about ‘that face’. She had seen it before, in my reflection in the window outside the shop as we stood talking one day. She was aware of too many cases of spirit possession to take any chances. Half her fear, she said, was due to not having the confidence to pull ‘me’ out if it should come to that. What finally convinced her it was “friendly” was that its eyes were so very kind. The fact that it resembled Jesus was another matter altogether.
 
And so the day went on. With Steve and Dave downstairs drinking and talking, we took our positions on the sofas. This time, thankfully, nothing very challenging occurred. I saw columned halls, as did she, so I told her of the many times I had seen those halls before. When I started meditating I always saw a door which opened to columned halls and from there I would find myself standing in a huge columned room. In the distance, a gold-robed figure stood, silent and unmoving. For months I would see that figure, wondering who it was, wondering if it was male or female, wondering what it wanted of me. Petula said she felt the columned halls were in Atlantis and that the gold-robed figure might be me in that life.

On Tuesday, August 22^nd, Kristen rang to give me the news that her tax refund was enough for her to finalise Danny's funeral bill. With that burden lifted from her shoulders, I could only hope she would be able to leave the past behind now and start forging a new life for herself.  The next day I put in a full day at Lifeline because Gladys was recovering from eye surgery. In a reading I gave Petula she asked if she should go for a property settlement. The cards said she should, and to procrastinate no longer. She told me she understood that. She had twelve months from the date of her divorce and time was no longer on her side. Faye rang to tell me she booked me for Tuesday evening, the 29^th.

I read for seven people, charging $10 a reading, except for Faye, who, as hostess, received a free reading. All were extremely happy. One asked lots of questions I was, thankfully, able to answer. She reminded me of myself a few years back. It was good to be on the other end and know what it felt like. On Wednesday, Faye rang to say two of the girls wanted to book me for another party. On Thursday, Petula and I went halves to buy flowers and a card for Gladys. She was doing very well and hoped to be back the following Wednesday. What a trooper!