CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Emergence
January to March 2000
The vast sums of money poured into fixing a problem created by short-sighted computer programmers ensured the transition from ‘99’ to ‘2000’ was generally non-eventful. The same could not be said for Annette. On the day Tamara started her new job Annette rang to advise me she had no choice but to let me go. She had only realised what I already knew. I could tell by her faltering voice that call was a difficult one to make. Two days later, I ran into my former workmate, Janette, at Chermside Shopping Centre. Over a cup of coffee we talked of many things, including the reading we had with Ann Ann and her having left the previous year. “So many have left”, she added, “and not just at Cooper.” To me, it was like the ties that bound me to the life I had were loosening, releasing me from some of my karmic debts. I was in the last quarter of my forty-ninth year. In a few months time I would be fifty years old; half a century of living behind me and an unknown future ahead of me.
After bidding Janette farewell I went to the library, but like so many times before I was unable to connect to the Internet. Twenty-five minutes into my half-hour I was finally able to check my email. The only message I was interested in was from Liz. Little had changed except Don left after she hurled the television set out the window. She asked if I would mind doing a reading for her. Before I left I went to the counter to collect some audio cassettes I had requested. As the lady who served me removed the rubber band holding the piece of paper with my name on it in place, she couldn’t conceal her surprise. She looked from the cassettes to me and back to the cassettes. I was about to defend my choice of listening material when she asked if I had read any of Jane Roberts’ Seth books. I had never heard of Jane Roberts but instead of going into that I told her I hadn’t. When I got home I rang a neighbouring library to see if I could get an Internet booking later that day. I could so I did Liz’s reading and drove to Zillmere.
The next day, Roberta rang to make sure I got the reference she posted and was not surprised to hear Annette let me go. She was, however, surprised to hear about Rachel, joking there was obviously more money in podiatry than physiotherapy. Two hours later, Leigh rang to give me the name of a clairvoyant she and her husband went to see at Bribie Island. On Saturday morning, I got a reply from Liz in regards to my reading for her. As predicted, Don came back with a promise to try harder. Getting positive feedback from someone on the other side of the world was the best feeling. Liz once asked me what terrified me the most – reading for people I didn’t know or taking money from them. I didn’t know many of my children’s or friends’ friends, family or their workmates so it had to be the latter. There was just the question of why.
The next time I was at the library, the woman who asked me about Jane Roberts asked if I would mind seeing her before I left. She wanted to know when I was coming in again and if I could come a little earlier so we could have a chat. Her name was Dana. She was positively thrilled to find someone who shared her love of the metaphysical. A week later she told me the council was seeking casual library assistants and if I wished to apply she was happy to help me with my application.
As the month progressed every member of my family found themselves challenged in different ways on the work front. Kristen got more hours, but they were on Saturdays which meant she had to find someone to mind Tianni. The little work Steve got was the hot and filthy sort few wanted. Che was disturbed to learn he would have to attend computer courses, and Tamara’s new job looked to be less certain than she thought. As for me, the rejection letters just kept coming so I decided to talk to Dana about the library job when I next saw her.
On the last Saturday in January, a month that had claimed fourteen lives in a shocking heat wave, Steve took Tamara and I to Bribie Island to see the lady Leigh told me about. Coral was a very nice lady in her early seventies, and although she did the cards and automatic writing, the power of affirmations was her passion. “Write each one ten times in an exercise book”, she said. “Date the top of each page. Be realistic. Be positive. Don’t ask for what you want. Write down that you now have it. With work for your husband, write down he now has a job that meets his every need. If you ask for what you want, you will always want it so it will never come to pass. If you write what you have, you will bring it to you because you are saying you already have it. Do you follow me?” She also told me I would be doing readings for people in a very nice setting within the year and that a “Queen of Wands” would come into my life and bring dramatic changes in her wake. By December, she said, many of our troubles will be behind us. She told Tamara not to worry about her job for it would all be sorted out before much longer.
I started writing my affirmations that very day. I am NOW a magnet to money. Money comes to me. Steve NOW has a job that suits his every need. As I wrote I truly believed what Coral believed. We can write our own destinies. We can make our own luck. Twenty-four hours later Steve got a call about a well-paying job with plenty of overtime. On his first day he met up with the manager of another labour hire company who told him he had him in mind for an upcoming job. I was gobsmacked.
The next time I was at the library I was thrilled to see a positive email from Liz waiting for me. She, too, had taken Coral’s advice and was going ahead in leaps and bounds. She told me to get some carnelian to take me from “Mother” energy to “Me” energy. She was right. It was time I learned who I was and where I was going. On my return home I rang the Brisbane Spiritualist Church to ask about their Spiritual Development classes. Within days of writing out my affirmations small amounts of money started trickling in from lotto entries and scratch-its. This was long before Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret made the world sit up and take notice. I was truly grateful for everything in my life, especially Leigh.
The following day I went to a shop in the city I was told about by a lady at the library. Beads & Crystals was everything she said it was and more. I could have spent an entire day there. Hours later I emerged with a great deal more than a piece of carnelian. A wonderful woman I met there told me not to worry about spending money. “Put a small piece of citrine in your purse. It is the stone of abundance. Think like you have money and you will have money.” The life I had been living was changing before my very eyes, rapidly and radically.
On the last day in January I received a letter from Brisbane City Council acknowledging my interest in the position of casual library assistant. Accompanying the letter was the official application form along with selection criteria questions. A few days later I gave Dana a copy of what I had written. She said it was quite good and well-presented although she advised me to change some words and phrases to those she knew “they looked out for”. Canadian-born Dana was a former school teacher whose outwardly conservative appearance belied her unconventional beliefs. For our meeting, she set up two chairs in the conference room. She asked me several questions about my spiritual journey and where it was taking me and told me much about her own. I came to look upon silver-haired Dana as one of my ‘teachers’ but she begged to differ, saying she was just another seeker on the pathway. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was the “Queen of Wands” Coral told me was coming. The Wands Queen is traditionally a blonde, red or sandy haired female, a fire sign, or a strong-minded, independent woman. I didn’t know what Dana’s hair colour may have been, or what her star sign was, but in every other way she epitomized the Fire Queen.
On the 14th anniversary of my mother’s death, I arrived five minutes too late for the Spiritual Development class only to find the door locked and a sign that said a meditation was in progress and I wasn’t to knock. I was disappointed but it was my own fault. I knew the train would be late and I chastised myself for not making the effort to get the earlier one. I would do so in future. I got a bus into the city with plans to go to Beads & Crystals only I got off at the wrong stop. When I looked up and down Adelaide Street to get my bearings I was drawn to a sign on a shop awning. From The Rock Shop I came away with a chrysoprase pendant for only $4.00. The soft, apple green stone not only felt good in my hand, it made me feel what, until then, I had only ever felt with quartz crystal. According to the man in the shop, chrysoprase “activates the individual to perceive the ordered chaos of the universe, resulting in the ability to let go and flow through the divine comedy of life”. I got goosebumps from head to toe and knew Mum had led me there. There may be chaos, I thought, but in that chaos is order beyond anything we mere mortals could begin to comprehend.
The next day Dana told me what to expect if I get called to an interview. She said my application contributed only ten per cent of the whole for the interview was the most important part. When I got home Tamara told me Coral was right about her job situation. Everything had been sorted out and she could confidently look to the future. Life wasn’t so clear-cut for Che.
On February 11th, he was home from work early, angry and disappointed with his union’s response to the government’s reaction to recent strike action. QR had retaliated by withholding overtime leaving workers dismayed to be told their union would consider imposing overtime bans when management “got over it”. Che had grown up believing in the power of a unionized workforce and yet, in his first foray, he saw his union as having as much strength as a wet noodle. Steve pointed out that a union is only as strong as its rank and file and if he gives up he is contributing to the very problem he is whinging about. On-going anti-union action by governments of all persuasions was having the desired effect with disillusioned people walking away from unions in their droves. Che was aware those very same people had the benefits they had because of their forefathers’ struggles, but he saw his union as a toothless tiger and a waste of space. He said he had better things to do with his money than prop up corrupt union officials and help then get into parliament where they could do greater harm to the “ordinary working stiff”.
In the third week of February, I woke with the strangest feeling that something was going to happen. That afternoon Che came home whinging about his union again, saying if there’s another strike, he’ll work. I was horrified. My son, a scab! Never! I couldn’t let that stand so we had a long talk. When I had finished I realised I had made little difference. It was a bleak day for unions and workers. The next day I ran into the mother of one of his former classmates. As she worked at QR I told her about Che’s wrath. She told me to urge that he do nothing because people have long memories when it comes to scabs. She said there was an undercurrent of unrest within the rank and file. He just had to be patient. Patient! Che! His card, the Knight of Swords, summed him up perfectly. I could only hope the cooler-headed King of Swords within him emerged before he dared besot the Warman legacy by becoming a scab.
On Thursday March 2nd, Kristen received a letter from the Department of Housing advising her of a two-bedroom unit at Windsor. She accepted. The next day I went to Chermside Shopping Centre to check out the first stage of the new extension. At Zen Gallery (now called My Spirit) I made a spur of the moment decision to have a reading. Katrena said I had two guides with me who have been with me for many lifetimes, with powerful connections to Ancient Egypt, Britain, China, Greece and Italy among others. The female guide, she said, is an ancestor in this life, and the male guide is Greek and gave her the name Dominic. I had to ask. Yes, she said. He is my father. She said we shared many lifetimes with political and religious overtones. She also said that while Dominic is my teacher guide he is guiding my son and has been since birth. I told her about my reincarnation belief and what Ann Ann said about my father being trapped in the astral. Katrena said only part of the soul incarnates while the “other part” (I later learned this “other part” is called the Oversoul) remained in the spirit world. She went on to say Mum is now an angel and comes to me and my children in times of need.
When I asked her about Steve, she said we shared many lifetimes and have much karma to work out. In this life, she said, he has to surrender control and I must be freer with my emotions. She told me he is not comfortable on this planet, having lived countless lives on other planets and in other dimensions. She said he feels an affinity to dragons and sorcerers. I found that remarkable because of his preference for Sci-Fi and Fantasy books, the majority of which are illustrated by dragons and sorcerers. She went on to say he had some negative “Alien Abduction” experiences which lead me to think about his fear of hospitals and doctors.
She said I still have a lot of work to do and much to learn, although I’ve lived many times and have accumulated much wisdom, experience and knowledge. I was a priestess in several past lives which is why I use ritual now. That said, she added, the time was coming when I would no longer need it. She said I have come into this world to lead the way, to teach and to do. I am to let go of my fear of working with the spirit world, to use my Tarot cards more often, and develop new spreads. She suggested I create some “Past Life” spreads to help me better understand where this fear comes from and how I can overcome it. She said it was very important that I bring my physical energies into balance with my spiritual energies because in the past I have focused too much on the spiritual. She said I know what to do. I just have to get out there and do it. As readings go, it was the best in terms of information I had ever had and when I told Steve what she said about him he listened – really listened.
On Monday, I got the bus to Chermside only to be told on arrival the Internet was down and not likely to be back that day. Zillmere library was closed on Mondays so I had no choice but to wait to tell Liz my exciting news. On Tuesday, so many people wanted to use the Internet computers Chermside library staff were ringing people like me to slot them in on Wednesday and Thursday, advising those who could get to another library to do so. I kept writing out my affirmations but no computer came to me. It was more than frustrating. It was infuriating.
By late February, Liz was telling me how happy she was and how wonderful it was to not have to worry about the police turning up to tell her Danuta had been arrested for this or that misdemeanor. Even James seemed happier. Just days later, war had erupted again. Don’s sister came to visit and within twenty-four hours of her leaving he had reverted to his old ways. Liz was furious. She said the “bitch blows in, destroys everything in her path, and then blows out again”. She told him she was moving into a small, recently vacated apartment in the building and he was to have no contact with her until he grew up.
In mid-March, I woke from a strange dream in which I was with several people bringing a man in for interrogation. He seemed to be a normal, modern man with nothing remarkable about him, but he was said to be both Jesus Christ and Allah. We didn’t believe and while he did nothing, we started to believe. The next thing I knew we were at a diner when some star fruit with flowers inside them were put on the table. I ate one of the flowers. That same day I started working on my first mandala, a colourful geometric piece.
On Saturday March 18th, I went to Kristen’s as she had the day off on account of Tianni’s birthday. Tianni was then old enough to appreciate our shared birthdays and took pleasure in helping to ice “our” cake. It may have been only five years since she was born but so much had happened in those years it was hard to believe we were the same people. Making the mandala had reignited my passion for art so I planned to buy some acrylic and quality watercolour paints, a sketch pad and canvases with the money I got from Che, Kristen and Kathleen. Tamara bought me a beautiful watch, its band constructed of gold and silver hearts. That night, John rang to wish me happy birthday like he did every year for all of us.
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| Tianni 2000 |
The following Saturday, I took Tianni to Zen Gallery where Julie, a lovely lady working there, gave her a glass pebble. She said it was magic and if she put it under her pillow her dreams would come true. I had liked Julie since the first day I met her. Her co-worker, Aaron, was also very nice, as was Mark, their boss. They all took the time to make every person who entered the store feel important. It was more than old-fashioned service. They really meant it. On Monday, I woke from a dream about Annette and wondered if I was picking up on her anguish. Later in the day, I saw my sister-in-law, Heather, at Chermside Shopping Centre. With her were her youngest daughter, Leonie, and granddaughter, Kayla. I hadn’t had much contact with Heather for years although we were once very close. The few times I had seen her during those years, at hockey and football events, I sensed a distance I couldn’t understand. We had coffee and talked of many things. Her marriage was over. Her husband had been cheating on her, for years, it turned out. She suggested we get together soon and maybe I could do a reading for her.
On Thursday March 30th, I met Irene in town. We were having a shared birthday lunch at Sizzlers. Her 50th birthday fell on February 9th, two days after Liz’s 51st. On the train going in I saw Frances’ face appear in front of my eyes as her name came into my mind. I was shocked because I had not thought of her since Laurence Walsh called me. After lunch, I asked Irene if she would mind going to Lincraft with me. I wanted to buy some clay. For reasons I hadn't been able to work out I had a desire to try sculpting. There were so many varieties to select from, from air-dried to oven-baked, as well as an amazing array colours it took me longer than expected. An hour and a half later, we were making our way back towards Central Station through the Queen Street Mall when I walked right into Frances, literally. I can only imagine what my face must have looked like, but she didn't seem to notice. On realizing who I was she said it was well I saw her because she just puts one front in front of the other and walks while thinking of nothing and making eye contact with no one.
She was then working as manager of Mary Ryan’s Bookshop and living at Springwood. I told her Uncle Jack was dead, but she knew that. She told me that in his last days he repeatedly called for her. John and Anne begged her to take pity on the poor man and see him in hospital but she couldn’t bring herself to go. She did eventually, only so she could tell him to rot in Hell. What she found was no longer the menacing pedophile she had come to hate but a shriveled up old man with “tubes everywhere”. She told me she walked over to him and said “Let it be”. Then, without another word, she turned on her heels and walked out of the room with her head held high.
When we finished talking I gave her a hug and we continued going in our opposing directions. I told Irene the whole sordid tale as we walked to the station and asked her what she made of it. Why would he want to see Frances so much when he had abused Anne and me, and who knows how many other little girls? I didn’t have to wait for her answer because I already knew. The stupid bastard must have thought if his accuser forgave him he could face his maker with an unblemished soul. That was so typical of Catholic mentality.
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